Steps To Successful Marriage Counseling

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Marriage counseling is an attempt by two partners to resolve their relationship problems and strengthen their marriage ties. Couples counseling attempts to enhance marital relationships through a process of dialogues and negotiations. A marriage counselor assesses each couple’s needs and the factors that may be causing the difficulties in their relationships. It involves two parties and is usually done in a neutral environment. The sessions of marriage counseling often last for several hours.

The goal of the marriage counseling is to build a strong and trusting relationship between both partners. It helps couples open up and express their feelings and tackle their differences tactfully. Counseling is necessary to address issues regarding conflicts and concerns such as the division of assets, issues regarding divorce and child custody. This therapy also aims to strengthen a relationship by creating awareness in the partners and strengthening their communication channels. It is also used to create awareness of the self-esteem and problem solving skills of each partner.


The process of marriage counseling can be very rewarding and provides a sense of security in a troubled relationship. In addition to the regular sessions with your therapist, you may want to attend counseling sessions occasionally with your spouse. You and your partner should talk about your feelings and any developments in the relationship. This will help you both understand what is bothering you and why it is affecting your relationship.

Stages of Involvement

During marriage counseling, there will also be stages of involvement. This stage is when the couple is in a receptive state and is willing to work with their therapist. Your partner will most likely begin to share his or her problems and ask for assistance. However, this stage may not be fully shared by both partners. As your sessions progress, the partners will discuss more personal issues such as their children, careers, home life and other common issues. These conversations will provide information to the therapist, which will be beneficial in the overall treatment.

Identify Ways

During this stage, your therapist will begin to identify negative behaviors and emotions that are contributing to the relationship’s problems. It will then become necessary to identify ways in which you and your spouse can address these problems. You may feel apprehensive about sharing these personal issues with your partner, but Dr. John Gottman encourages couples to share anything they are experiencing.

Couple’s Participation

Throughout marriage counseling, couples therapy will include input from each partner. Dr. John Gottman encourages couples to participate in their own individual evaluation of the relationship. The key is to ensure that there is a unified response from each person, as everyone contributes something to the relationship. This will increase the effectiveness of the marriage counseling sessions.

During this stage, both you and your partner will have different perspectives on what the problems are and will be looking for feedback. If you feel that you are coming across too personally, you may want to seek the support of your therapist. Sometimes just talking with your therapist about how you are feeling and the direction you want to take can be an important step toward progress toward marital problems resolution. Talking to another person who is not involved in the marriage counseling process will allow you to express your fears and doubts and to gain perspective on the direction your relationship is headed.

Family Therapy

In order to help your marriage counseling to be more effective, it is important that you make use of your family therapy sessions. You should also try to keep in mind that your family therapist or psychologist has the same goal for marriage counseling and other types of mental health treatment. Your therapist’s goal is to ensure that you achieve mental health and wellness. This means working with your family members as well as yourself to ensure that you are reaching your goals. When you work with your family and yourself, you will find that marriage counseling is less stressful, less expensive, and more successful.

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